To 2016-2017
To Fall 2015
From Cheater to Peter

By Audrey Hirshberg

  1. Shanghai
    By Ashley Wu
Although some might have questioned
His excuses as of late 
When it came to fight or flight
I never chose debate

When I joined the family, 
I was met with open arms,
But his arms now seemed a bit too open,
And that was cause for alarm.

But I put my trust in him,
As futile as that was,
Though now his promises to me
Seemed as real as Santa Claus.

Sometimes there were lipstick marks on his collar
That hinted something was amiss,
But I just assumed they were from
His mother's wayward kiss.

Even when I found him and an unknown woman
Locked in a passionate embrace,
I did my best to retain
My unwavering full faith.

He slipped her a few dollar bills
As she made her way out the door,
And when that exchange occurred
My jaw almost hit the floor.

He assured me she was his cousin,
and he had documents to prove it:
Calm down, he chided,
There was no reason for me to lose it.

He said it was European custom,
To behave with kin in such a way,
And besides, it was time to celebrate:
Saint Valentine’s Day!

To the restaurant we departed,
In the finest limo money could buy,
Though I couldn’t help but notice
The smell of perfume on his tie.

When we took our seats he told me
The biggest lie of them all-
That he had bought a makeup line…
Which came as quite a curveball.

This was to explain the lipstick on his collar
And the perfume on his clothes,
But when I mentioned the woman from earlier,
His position seemed to transpose.

He stuttered and stammered,
Never giving me a decent answer.

And that right there, officer,
Was the cause for this disturbance,
With this man’s due punishment
I had to ensure no inadvertence.

So you caught me slashing his tires
Out in the darkness of the night,
Are you sure you can’t excuse this
As a temporary oversight?

You would have done the same?
You say I have nothing to fear
As you put your flashlight to the side
And give me the all clear.

So together we worked
Until the break of dawn,
And that was how I met my husband
On my cheating ex’s lawn.

Peter and I were wed
Ten years ago to the day
And each year I’m thankful
For Saint Valentine’s Day.